If you are considering Individual Counselling please contact me. We can then arrange a convenient time for a 20 to 30 minute telephone consultation or a face to face meeting, which is free of charge. I understand the importance of finding a counsellor with whom you feel you comfortable and able to work with.
This time will provide an opportunity to ask any questions you may have and help me have a better understanding of what you are hoping to gain from therapy.
Counselling for Children and Teenagers
I have a wealth of experience in working with children and young people for over twenty years gained within a range of settings. I understand the importance of providing a safe, confidential and accepting space where children and young people can come to share their worries or thoughts without the fear of being judged.
In addition to providing a relaxing and calm space to talk, I am able to provide a range of creative resources, which may capture the interest to the child or young person. Working in a creative way using a range of materials such as clay, sand tray work, Lego or through an art activity can aid free expression of feelings. This can be therapeutically freeing, reduces psychological distress and lowers stress levels experienced with feeling connected with anxiety.
I have found that some children and young people may find it more comfortable to express their worries or feelings when the focus is directed away from them and focused on an activity.
I work towards empowering the individual and encourage self-expression in terms of their wants and needs. I believe this way of working permits a trusting relationship, providing an environment where painful or confusing thoughts or feelings are heard and accepted. Together a better understanding develops with individuals feeling more confident to consider identifying their own solutions or ways forward.
My range of experience with children and teenagers includes; working within a therapeutic counselling organisation and counselling children and young people within residential and fostering settings.
In addition I am a school counsellor working with children in primary through to post 16 year olds, who are statemented with Autism. Supporting them through any difficulties they may be facing, including; anxiety, anger, bullying, self-harm, low self-esteem, relationship issues and friendship problems.
Working relationally underpins my practice with individuals, so therefore it is only natural that this remains true and is reflective of how I work within my couples counselling. My focus is to work with the ‘relationship’, rather than individuals.
My training is Integrative in nature and as such enables me to draw from several prominent theory based approaches including; “The Developmental Model”
The Developmental model is a model of couples counselling that was created over 30 years ago by two US psychologists, Dr Ellyn Bader and her husband Dr Peter Pearson from The Couples Institute.
I can help you in a range of ways enabling you to:
- Learn communication skills with your partner effectively to create curiosity and support rather than experiencing conflict
- Understand how to work towards solving conflict and valuing difference
- Explore a difficult issue within a safe space
- Recognise the strengths in your relationship
- Improve your relationship through gaining insight and awareness into your particular difficulties
- Understanding attraction pattern and bonding patterns – To realise what led you to choose your chosen partner
- To identify individual needs – According to theory our main need is what we most wanted and didn’t get as a child
- To see the problems within your relationship as an opportunity to gain deeper understanding
- To understand how can you and your partner express your individuality while simultaneously supporting your relationship. This is the art of differentiation. Once you’ve passed through the “we” of the romantic stage, successful differentiation is the key to an authentic and fulfilling longer-term relationship
Common relationship issues I work with include:
- Misunderstandings and tensions resulting from differences in viewpoints
- Experiencing a range of feelings including; resentment, anger and anxiety
- A lack of trust or loss of connection
- Lack of intimacy and sexual discontent
- Difficulties arising with other family members
Can Couples Counselling be helpful to you?
This confidential and understanding service provides you and your partner with a safe space to explore the difficult issues within your relationship. I offer a fully inclusive service irrespective of age, race, gender or sexual orientation.
For couples in a committed relationship, couple counselling can help to keep you on track and deepen your understanding of each other and lead to a more contented lifestyle.
However, if you are considering separation or divorce and not completely sure if it’s the right path for you, you may want to consider all avenues before making a permanent decision with long term consequences.
I am able to help individuals and couples decide whether to try to work on their marriage, to move towards divorce, or take time out and decide later. The sessions are divided between spending time with each couple together and individual conversations with each spouse.
Please be assured, I will respect the reasons for divorce while trying to open up the possibility of working on the marriage. In addition to emphasising the importance of each individual seeing his or her own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions.
The goal of Discernment Counselling is not to solve problems – but to see if they can potentially be solved. Some couples may decide to commit to couple therapy while others will not.
Discernment counselling is short term and involves a maximum of five counselling sessions, which normally last between 1.5 and 2 hours. However the first session normally requires 2 hours as it is then that I ask four core questions, which will promote consideration and reflection of your feelings within your current situation.
Discernment Counselling provides an opportunity to gain clarity and confidence about which direction to take that is based on a deeper understanding of the relationship and its problems.
Discernment counselling is considered successful when people have clarity and confidence in their decision.
Unlike traditional marriage counselling that assumes that both people are willing to work on the marriage, Discernment Counselling assumes that frequently one spouse is “leaning out” of the marriage and the other spouse is “leaning in.” Each perspective is honoured.
There are three possible paths to follow and outcomes from Discernment Counselling:
- Continue as the relationship stands;
- Move towards separation/divorce;
- To commit to work on the relationship for 3 to 6 months in couples counselling, following which a decision can be made to continue or separate.
For couples interested in my confidential services…
Please contact me so that I am able to email you both a copy of my Terms and Conditions and Questionnaire. Once you and your partner have completed and returned these to me these will help me to understand a little more about your situation. I will then contact you to arrange an appointment to meet with you.